Friday, September 4, 2009

Some things never change

Although my Old Kentucky Home is a little bit older and there are a few more crayon marks on the walls, there are some things that never change.
  • Trees are everywhere.
  • The people are just as friendly as ever.
  • The people are just as prejudiced as ever.
  • There are run down houses and barns and stores more than there are ones in good condition.
  • Everyone asks about how your family is, everyone wants you to make sure that you done tell your Mama that they done said hi
  • "Yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" and, "Mama, you better slow down" sound just as polite and in place as they ever did
  • There is no real politically correct Kentuckian, however, they love you no matter what they call you (especially the little downs boy across the street)
  • There is a cloud of cigarette smoke at every public area (churches, stores, restaurants, gas stations, you name it)
  • Gas prices are 60 cents cheaper than Utah
  • It takes at least 20 minutes to drive anywhere you want to go
  • Everyone owns/drives a 4-wheeler
  • Girls dye their hair blonde, visit the tanning beds, wear skimpy dresses and put on 3 layers of make up to attract men who wear wife beaters, camouflage, and who talk dirty behind their backs
  • The weather is unpredictable
  • Everyone knows about everyone else's business
But boy howdy, look at how pretty it all is.




Some of my favorite MaryAnn sayings include
  • Lea, you're sweating like a nigger telling the truth
  • Becky, do you believe the Lord loves your Mama? I do, I believe the Lord loves you Mama. One year we done planted twelve DEAD tomater plants at your place and she done got them to sprout up and grow tomaters like they were prize winning plants. But this year we planted 90 nice plants here and not a one of em produced.
  • *Retelling a story about her childhood* They called me Runt, I done forgot what they called t'other ones.
  • I reckon I done spoiled him *her son JD* but I can't help it, can I?

3 comments:

Rowboat said...

i keep telling gabriel i want to live in the south because it sounds so beautiful and old-fashioned but i don't think he's interested.

Unknown said...

I don't know if it is as great as all that, but you should visit sometime.

Autumn @ Autumn All Along said...

I love the tanning one..it's so true...