Trees and Life

I always loved trees, I wonder if I could ever be a tree woman.

Technology, Family, and Time

There have been a few things running through my head today (not to mention the nasty virus that has been running/ruining my throat)

Mostly, however, my thoughts are rotating around these three themes: technology, family, and time.

I have found lately that technology has been consumming our lives, I am writing this in my online blog, which should be case in point enough, however as I feel like expounding, indulge me in the following list of ways in which my technology portfolio has expounded recently. I am the pround owner of:

• 2 digital cameras (these are really my pride and joy)
• 1 dieing car (even if it may not last more than a couple more months and I am scared to think about driving it considering the noises it makes and the money it will cost to get insurance and to keep it running)
• 1/2 laptop computer (which I share with Juan since he hasn't technically left on his mission yet. However, since I am usually on a computer at work all day anyway, this usually doesn't pose a problem)
• 1 working cellular telephone and 2 broken ones
  
• 1/3 video camera (Juan actually received this from his work for a Christmas present, but since I use it to record my class lectures, I have commandeered it from him for most of the time)
• 3 flash drives (all of which were free to me)
• 1 very loud alarm clock (I have had this since I was 16 and so although it used to come with a CD player, it stopped working soon after Ilya managed to get ahold of it)
• 1 CD player (not super practical since I can just listen to any music I want online)
• 1/2 toaster (I bought this with Cami when we moved in together and she will probably take it if she gets married, but I suppose that is how life goes)
• 1 oster blender
• 1 hand mixing blender (very nice birthday present from Heidi)

This leads me into technology which is more difficult to "own" and which generally is just used- i.e. social networking tools, email services, and other computer applications. Facebook, although not always a very practical tool, has become much more popular in my family recently and even my sisters and my dad who I never thought would be into that type of thing, have joined.

The feeling is similar to when you have a nonmember friend at school who you always used to invite to church, but never assumed they would come and then one day you see them in the pew next to yours. You are happy, but skeptical and not really sure what to make of the whole thing.

I suppose it works though, having a place where we can all connect since we are so separate physically. Having more time to discuss things. More time in general. And yet, not really having any more time than we did before.

Which leads me to my final topic, which is time.

Last Thursday I attended a lecture that was trying to convince us all to go to Oxford for a summer abroad program. Although I have high hopes for myself, I also have low funds and so live vicariously by listening to other people talk about study abroad programs instead of actually signing up for them myself. While discussing the benefits of this particular program, however, the professor mentioned that one of the greatest ones was that of time. Time to be alone, time to walk the gardens and time to not be rushed about as we often are here on campus. And I drank in the thought like a breath of fresh air. Time.

And then I quickly scurried off to my next class, adding the occasional jog in between foot steps so that I wouldn't be late. Over scheduling seems to be one of my strong points and I wonder when I will ever have that time. The time to do nothing. I wonder, if I had that time, if I would quickly schedule it full of something else. I wonder.

I am my mother's daughter

Lately I have been realizing that any time I have any ailment, all I have to do is call up my mother and I will get the instant diagnosis. It would be helpful if she just made a big long list of everything she has ever had, unfortunately I usually just have to find out as I go along, so I decided to make my own list of things:

• Rolling veins (impossible to get my blood through a needle)
  
• Scoliosis (particularly causing foot and back pain)
  
• TMD
• Gallstones
  

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Sometimes people are frustrating. Like when you depend on everyone else, but in order to get too and from work, but you end up working from midnight-8am and since no one will pick you up on New Year's Day, then you have to walk home. It takes two hours. Two hours to walk home in the freezing cold across the snow.

And then you take another look at it. For example, it's like camping, sleeping on a hard surface in a sleeping bag, taking a refreshing two hour morning hike.

This is where I work, well, as seen from a few hundred feet away.

Beautiful mountains and beautiful snow.

superpowers in not so super humans

If you had one, what would it be? To fly? To have laser vision? Maybe you really just want to be able to turn back time.

What about things that aren't so absurd, being able to type 100 wpm, never having a bad hair day, being able to play the piano like Beethoven.

And me? I can read minds. Not every mind or every thought, but I can tell how people think. I know what those looks mean, what your eyes are trying to hide. I know why you don't want me to come. I know why you invite me with no intention of a real invitation. At least, I know why you think you do these things. Telling the truth is not my power.

I stumbled across an old recollection of mine, I went back, years and years. I scanned through my own thoughts and I remembered the feelings. The old bog that pulled on everything. The corners of my mouth, my heart, dragging everything under. But then the old familiar songs came back and all the old loves, all the old things that used to be love. What happened to it, what happened to me, why can I only remember happiness with pain?

And I'm reading his thoughts again. From a hundred miles away I can still hear it, from ten thousand miles away I have always known those thoughts. But this time they aren't mine anymore.

The snow isn't as cold when you think about it, there are much colder things. Colder people. Colder nights. Colder thoughts.

Finally Finals

Semesters come, and semester go. Sunrises dawn and sunsets fade. And no matter how excited we to begin them, full of life, excitement, and new plans, there's always a sense of excitement and anticipation to finish them. Like closing a novel you've been reading for four months. It doesn't matter how good it was, you want to complete it.

Over. Over. Over.

Things we really aren't

Tell me about yourself. No, what would you know, really, few people know themselves really well enough to be able to tell me who they are. But I'm sure you can tell me who you aren't. Let me start. I am not:

• Elvis Presley. This is self evident if you've ever seen me on the dance floor, I can wiggle and jiggle just as good as a bowl of jell-O but I will never be able to have those beautiful blue eyes or those hips, oh Lord love a duck, how I want those hips
• very tall- this is emphasized by everyone else
  
• a ballerina- refer to number one
  
• an airline pilot
• a guru
• Asian
• very skinny
• homeless
• unemployed
• a boy
• originally from Utah
• African American
• a brunette (am I?)