I have always had a desire to serve a mission, from the time I was in primary and my teachers would ask "Now how many of you are planning on serving a mission?" up until now, when it is much more logistical. Initially I think I wanted to because I knew that all the boys were expected to and no one would ever think that I should do it. Maybe it was because I thought it was prejudice that boys were pushed to serve, but girls were hardly ever mentioned. In fact, in discussing this with my father, one of the first things he asked is why. Why would I want to serve a mission?
There are a lot of reasons, as he explained and I knew, and there are a lot of other options in my life. I could finish school, I could really throw myself into dating, find a man and settle down. If I wanted to learn another language, I could simply take a class and then go on a study abroad. I could start working or join the peace corps, I could still serve no matter what I chose. And yet, I still want to go on a mission, a full-time mission for the LDS church.
I'm not entirely certain I can answer that "why" question, but I'm working on it. It has something to do with a desire within that I can't quite squelch otherwise. It has something to do with the power of the atonement and change. I have felt changed by love and I have felt progression and improvement through the gospel and if I can bring even an iota of that knowledge to someone else, then I will feel satisfied.
So now I am one step closer to turning in my papers, I just need to meet with my Stake President the Sunday after this one and then he will submit them. Afterward I will wait a couple of weeks and probably be assigned a mission on June 18 so that I can receive my call sometime in late June. It's funny, because a couple of years ago this time seemed so distant that it was almost unimaginable and now it is so close I can almost taste it.