The Weeping Willow Tree

If I'm tardy again then not only will I be even stinkier from not having a chance to bathe in three days, not only will I be more hungry from not eating breakfast, and not only will my hair look like a rat's nest, but I will also probably be fired.

Come on alarm clock, do your job.

Guideposts

How is it that we can still think ourselves so far removed. And yet so close to home.

I have to move, I packed this morning until I ran out of boxes.

Everytime I pack I wonder how much of my stuff I actually use. And everytime I throw something away I need it the next day.

French Thoughts

We made a deal, with the devil. We closed our hearts and our minds. We took red die and colored ourselves, just in order to eat some pie.

We danced with pygmies and house elves. We stood around the plum tree and waited for them to come out, to threaten small children back into their homes and then wait until dark for to carry them away.

We caroused in the most scandalous alleys and drank with the sailormen. We loved each other and tried to pretend that we would never be unfaithful, but then we looked into each other’s eyes and knew the truth. But it didn’t hurt so bad, knowing it was mutual.

Then the devil came to take his toll, to wrench from us our souls. And now every morning at half past ten we wake up and then start it again. It’s days like this that make me wish my life were mine once more.

Like Unto a toilet

It's broken. It has been for a while, but I think our land lady's phone has been as well since she never picks up or replies to our calls. I think my nose is broken as well.

Toilet Paper

I can't stop blowing my nose.
On my sleeve, on my bed spread, on my co-worker's jacket.
My throat doesn't want to believe that it's time to be awake.
I can't swallow, I can't cough, I can't breath.

Dizzy.

Dis
connected

drawn into the back of my throat like so many walruses and so much snot.

Squash me

I went to the garden this morning. It was wonderful. I scratched my legs and cut down weeds.

And now I have fresh vegetables.

General Concepts of Disease

I went looking for my rusted over bicycle in the darkness under stairwells and hidden in bushes. I didn't find it, but a lesion in my search led me to a pile of old text books and loose clothing. Covered in dust and discarded carelessly, I opened the pages and found a wealth of odd diesases. Lung carcinoma, fibroadenoma, cervical polyps, and so much more.

It makes my blood boil.

It makes my skin crawl.

I am so intrigued.

Oregano

Sometimes it's best that I don't speak Spanish, then when people say embarassing things to me, it doesn't phase me.

I am almost done with:
-the summer
-my sister's cook book
-The Promised Land play
-transcripts I started at the beginning of the summer

So much fulfillment.

Ode

Ariana, your bum is so cute.
You love all of your friends
You love to send toots
Your friendships wont ever end
Even when they don't call
And it is your birthday
Because they were eating dinner
You wont bawl
You'll say hooray
And you'll never be thinner.

Colors

I ran again this morning. Beating of my feet can't compare with the beating of my heart or the dramaticm with which my face hits the pavement.

We ran up the mountain. We kicked the soccer ball back and forth, rythm as consistent as a pendulum.

He said he will never talk to me again. I called his name outside the dressing room and he only glared at me and spat out Spanish sentences of how we would never talk again. I cried for a while, but then I died inside and everyone knows dead people can't cry. I wiped away my tears and memories and kept on walking right beside him.


After the sun peeked out from behind the mountains the valley lit up splendidly. I watched trees leaves turn green in seconds and grass go from an indistinct dark mass to sharp blades. Apricots showed their true colors and the red of my shorts again matched the red of my shirt.

It was beautiful.

The Benefits of Puking

I love wikipedia. Some days I wish I had invented Wikipedia, or written an article on it that lasted longer than 5 min.

If I could learn Spanish by osmosis, I would be proficient from sleeping on so many Spanish books by now. Since I cannot, I instead have to smile, nod, and act panicked when I am in a room with only Spanish speakers.

Hola, como estas?
Bien, y tu?
Consada
Por que?
Por que tu as corres en mi cabeza todo dia? hehe hehe hehe... uh...

Dorky and incorrect Spanish can make me laugh.

Carrots

I don't like left-overs. I don't care for microwaves, warm and soggy is not my ideal for food.

I do love:
-rose bushes
-fresh fruit
-getting things done
-biking to the library
-making birthday cards
-searching for good deals
-yard saleing
-taking pictures
-reading
-apprender espanol
-packing
-sleeping
-eating breakfast
-making lists
-organizing
-cutting out magazines
-brushing my teeth

Windows and glasses

There's a window at my work that is always stormy. It's two paned and somehow condensation is trapped inside and no matter how hard we try and clean it, we will always feel like it's raining when we sit in front of it.

I know a girl like that.

She used to be clear, nice, understanding, but got it into her head that her life was hard, she didn't deserve the hardships that came her way, and now she's right.

Jokes that are funny

If you have to explain them too much, they are not very funny.

This is much like the one song I have written, most people smile and nod, but don't understand a word, so instead I sing it to myself, calming myself to sleep. I sit and read by the fireplace and giggle in my dreams.

I think it's funny when you can't find your glasses, you think it's infuriating.
I think it's funny when you make that thinking face, but you just don't understand.
I think it's funny when can't make up your mind, and you just get mad.

It's okay, it's an inside joke.

Dreams can be Deceiving

But it was nice for a while.

I journeyed to the moon and watched little animated boys gets scared journeying through passageways and tunnels trying to stay where there was light, until it all went dark.

I sat in the arms of someone I love and to help dig up buried treasure. I felt his eyes watching me, I felt his breath on my neck, I felt the strength of his arms and then I woke up buried in Cami's armpit.

Dreams are just illusions, but sometimes life is too.

Glass Bottles

It's funny the way some things work out. Or the way they never could, never would, and never want to.

It's funny the relief we get when we finish something, a book report, a shower, a meal. Completion, a feeling so desired and yet so fleeting, seemingly impossible to really achieve. We come so close before it evades our grasp, done with one project we look up to see the stack that has piled up in the meantime.

Stop.

Ignore the seething pile of dirty dishes, half-pages, and damsels in distress.

Re-coop.

Breath.

Close your eyes and be at peace.

And you're closer already than you could have been working away busily for hours on end.

The Repentance of Paul

13 years in the desert. Intense walking and fasting and desert winds blown in his face. But worse still the remorse. Better still the joy.

How do you get humility? Is it like the slap and the face that you just have to wait for or can you try really hard and hope it will come?

Breaking Point

Break down, break through, break out, break away, breaking, broke, broken.

It's funny how hard it is for me to cry during the "sad" scenes of our play but as soon as we're done how easy it becomes. Like a leaking faucet you thought you had fixed. Like so many flowers falling from a tree or turtles from a log.

And up the next morning before dawn, ready to do it all over again.